JUST JINXY

“Where can I meet a hotwife like you?” “ How do I know if a lady is approachable?” “ How can I let guys know I’m open for flirting and more?”   I hear questions like this all the time, from both men looking for a hotwife and from the ladies trying to get “out there” and find her bulls. 

Something many people in the “know” of the cuckolding lifestyle will look for is, simply, an anklet on the woman’s right ankle.  This is supposed to signify that a woman is open to being approached about sexual encounters.  Something I have to stress to people is, anklets are a fairly popular jewelry choice in recent times.  One shouldn’t judge a  woman to be a hotwife on anklet alone!  Many women wear them because they’re pretty, not because they are even aware of what a hotwife is.  Men need to look for other clues and cues before proceeding.

What else can you do to signal to guys that you are looking for a fun time?  Confidence.  Flirty attitude.  Eye contact.  Body language.  MANY things can signal that you’re fun and open to new encounters.  I personally believe that eye contact and body language are the major ones, followed by confidence and being flirty.  If you’re out – either alone or with a group of friends – at a bar or club, you don’t want to be standing against the wall sipping a drink and hiding your face from everyone.  Guys generally don’t pick those ladies to chat with because it seems she doesn’t want to be there anyway.  If you do happen to be standing against the wall, why not sway with the music?  Look around and smile at the guys?  Don’t cross your arms, but dance a little bit?  Or walk around the room making eye contact and saying hello.  You never know what guy will stop you and start a great conversation.  Many of us think we lack the confidence or ability to flirt, but there’s always the old saying “fake it until you make it”… be in character, pretend you’re the hottest woman in the room!   

That all sounds like general advice, and it practically is.  But you’d be surprised how many hotwives or cuckoldresses don’t really understand how to work the bar or club scene!  We find our men in the most random places, or online, because it’s easier to have men coming to us than it is to have to put ourselves out there and face rejection.  If we keep putting ourselves in the same types of situations, we’re bound to find the same types of men.  (Same for you guys, if you keep looking for women in the same places, how do you expect to find a different type of woman?)  It’s best to put yourself out there in other ways, go to bars or clubs occasionally, or try a new dating website.  You never know what types of people you can come across until you make yourself available to them in that manner.

Ladies, if you’ve been on dating websites for any length of time you’ll find out that there are a TON of men that are all talk and no action.  There are men in real life that are the same way… big talkers, but that’s about it.  When it comes to getting with a woman they’re clueless.  How do you spot them and distinguish between the fakers and the real genuine guys?  From my experience, the fakers tend to be the quickest to claim they have “exactly what you’re looking for” or “the biggest and the best”.  I’ve heard a lot of “Come on over here baby, let me give you what I’ve got!  You won’t need to look anywhere else.”  They’re also the ones that don’t want to commit to an actual date or time to meet up.  Then you have guys that will commit to a date, only to reschedule on you three or four times.  Usually with me, they get three strikes.  Not only when it comes to rescheduling, I factor in EVERYTHING.  Did they send the info or pictures I asked for? Are they decent at replying to my emails thoroughly? And yes, I even evaluate on grammar at times.  Oddly enough, the guys that start off sensibly with their name (real or fake, you never know) and telling you a little about themselves tend to be the guys that are more serious, more genuine.  Sure, it may not always work out with them, but at least you can both go your separate ways knowing there are others dealing with the same struggles as yourself. 

I know that a lot of this suggests pushing people outside of their comfort zones, and I would never recommend pushing yourself so far past your limits that you’re upset or scared or possibly can’t come back from.  Testing the lines, your self-imposed limits can be fun, especially if you know ahead of time exactly what you’d like to experience.  Ever told yourself you don’t want to be with a person more than 10 years older than you?  What happens when the hot guy you’re chatting up happens to be 12 years your senior?  Would you completely blow it off because he passed that imaginary line you drew?  Doubtful… you’d probably still pursue it.  But if the guy was 22 years older than you?  That may be when you’d enforce your own rules.   Or if you tell yourself you won’t be having sex with a group of people, but you end up getting cozy with 2 folks at the same time… would you stop? Or would you go forward with the threesome?  That’s up to you, your comfort levels, and the rules you want to enforce.  Just know what your limits are, what you absolutely will draw the line at.  If necessary, discuss those lines and limits with any friends or partners so they can help you to stay true to them.  Don’t ever go further than you’re willing to. 

Ladies, if you’re trying to find more partners and make yourself more approachable as a hotwife, you may want to consider getting an anklet to wear!  Then of course, being more flirty and confident as you are in situations around guys you may desire.  Know what to look for in terms of being ‘all talk’ and know what you’re not willing to go through just for a fun encounter.   It’s all about YOUR fun, after all!